sinful_lynx

Title: Gods
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Characters/Pairings: Riza, Roy, Ed, Armstrong;; slight Royai
Rating: PG
Warnings: manga!verse, spoilers for Hawkeye's past
Author Note: This was not what I intended, but oh well!
Summary: Alchemists are the closest things to gods there are.
Dedication: Daddy who gave the prompt of some song lyrics and FMA! It's been so long. I hope it's all right, Daddy!

'Alchemists are the closest things to gods there are.'

She watches them constantly, listens to their conversations, lets them be what they are because there's no helping it. They are what they are, gods in mortal shells, living out their lives to make some significant change, whatever that may be, before they die and their existence is forgotten... forgotten like those gods slain in campaigns throughout Amestris' history.

There are times she's wanted to reach out to each of them, to assure them that, to her, they are as human as possible and they needn't carry such heavy burdens. It's all right to show despair, to feel pain, to experience hatred for their art. She does. She hates it, despite her upbringing. She hates alchemy for what its done, how its torn down the strongest men, ensnared a couple of helpless children, stolen away his innocent dream.

But they don't want to show they are human. Armstrong's torments during the war are hidden behind his lineage, using his muscles and flamboyant displays to pretend his heart and resolve in the military is strong. He's boisterous because his voice is determined to boom louder than the lonely path he's taken ever since he took up the 'Strong Arm' title.

Edward hides behind a stone wall of pure resolve, using his brother, his arm and his leg as his means of defeating the steep climb up that mountain to perfection, to god-like status, to do what has never been done before. He seeks the Philospher's Stone, the Holy Grail of alchemy, all as a means to fix his mistakes. Restoring his brother will restore himself too because then Edward knows he's not alone in the world--he'll have his brother and he'll have forgiveness.

He is just as lonely as they are. He can smirk and talk, he can make dates and see as many women as he wants. He can surround himself with as many subordinates as he can, but she knows he will forever be out of reach. The closest to understanding and fixing him is dead. She knows the secrets of his alchemy, knows who he learned it from and she still bears the marks of it on her back--their shared sorrow and disappointment in the world, in alchemy--but it doesn't mean she's any closer to washing away the pain he buries beneath the burning flame.

Now that she's apart from them, she can see it more clearer than ever before. She knows now why her father died, why alchemists seem so far away that she can reach and reach and reach and never secure that spot she wants so desperately to grasp.

Being a god is a lonely journey and what place does a mortal have beside a god?